Goodbye, New Orleans. We will miss you fondly. Maybe.

Kind of.

I have been attending The Abyss of Ignorance for three days now. Some of the foolish call it "high school." Much teenage bitching will follow a bitter review of "Sky High."

The basic plot has been used so many times it's not even funny. They SO needed to Evil Overlord List this movie. Will, a teenage boy with very famous parents (superheroes) is trying to live up to their legacy. His best-friend-who-happens-to-be-an-attractive-but-withdrawn-girl and his gaggle of comic-relief friends attend a quasi-secret academy for superhero teens, none of whom have acne or are overweight. On Will's first day at the academy, he falls in love with the scholastic-dominatrix-prep/nerd-bitch (don't tell me that's not a stereotype) and is engaged in a brawl with the bad-boy loner Warren Peace.

I will now take a moment to talk about Warren. He can light himself on fire and throw fireballs, wears amazingly cool clothing, and is horrendously sexy. This prompted the one-liner "He's a flamer!" which earned me a laugh and an elbow from Lindsey. I'm bi, so I can say that to my petty straight friends without them going "Ah-ha! Shaun's gay!" Because then I can smile and say, "Close enough." Tragically, he cannot fight worth shit, even with his awesome powers. In his defense, he can speak Chinese and has Moo-esque complexion. In one lighting, he looks white. In another, Chinese. In another, Native American. In another, Middle Eastern. Lindsey thinks he might be the Tiger Woods of Hollywood.

Dominatrix-prepnerd offers "the tutoring job" which inevitably ends up with Will taking her into his parents' Secret Sanctum, where as they are making out, Prepbitch's cronies sneak in and steal an old rival's mysterious secret weapon. Layla the best-friend-girl, who has way-cool plant powers, hopes that Will will invite her to Homecoming, but Will is going with jerkperson. Layla asks Warren to help her make Will jealous. Warren is really into this. Slash time. Prepbitch throws Will a party, but Will sees that Layla and his comic-relief friends are being excluded and breaks up with her. The parents come home and crash the party early.

Skip forward to homecoming. Prepbitch is actually a supervillain and has incapacitated all the students and Will's parents, who are chaperoning. Will didn't go, and so is saved along with the comic-relief friends, who managed to escape. Everyone's mostly-useless power is somehow used to beat up their assigned evil cronies or otherwise save the day, but it all goes to pot anyway when the school starts plummeting as a needless plot hook, until Will uses his powers and saves the day. He and Warren make up, Layla becomes his girlfriend, Prepbitch is imprisoned (how does one imprison superheroes?). Yay for goodness.

Too tired for bitching. Homework? Maybe. Writing? Definitely.